chicken alfredo pizza and potato pizza.
Yes, I said potato pizza!
It was my sister Beth's idea. She heard it was good, and she was right. It was delicious! You should try it.
my way
(Aiden and Emma have recently learned, and love to, fold clothes!)
My husband, and occasionally my kids, have been trying to help out around the house lately, but its been hard watching them do things differently than I would.
I'm learning I have to let go.
So what if Kart folds clothes differently than I do,
or takes waaay longer to get the kids ready for bed.
At least he's willing to help.
I will try not to stress out about it.
One month old
3/25/10
Owen is officially one month old today.
This is the closest thing to an awake smile we've seen from him.
(he smiles a lot in his sleep & it's pretty cute!)
I keep waiting for him to smile at me but no luck so far.
We love it when it's a school day for Kart because he gets to come home for lunch.
Owen was awake & happy while he was home today and had fun hanging out with daddy.
I'm grateful for...
3/24/10
I feel like it's been really easy to be negative lately and feel sorry for myself. Don't get me wrong; I'm happy. But lately my life has been like contractions- really painful for a few minutes, followed by a few minutes of peace and happiness, then more pain, more happiness...and on and on, up and down, through out the day. When things are good I feel like "yeah, I can do this!" but when I everyone's crying, telling me "No!" to everything I ask of them, or the baby won't let me put him down all day I get discouraged and want to go cry on the floor along side my 3 year old.
Well today I had enough, and finally pulled myself out of my disheveled, "I can't do this anymore" rut, and out of the house. I managed to look nice and get the kids dressed and out the door after naps that were accidently cut short because I made too much noise in their room adjusting their fan (Dang it!!). Getting out was just what we all needed. We got some errands done, and went to the park to enjoy the nice sunny weather we're having. I even successfully nursed at the park with out my nursing cover that I'd forgotten (I used a blanket, but usually find it awkward because I can't see what I'm doing and worry it'll fall off). The kids were able to get their energy out and loved seeing the ducks at the park's pond. Next time we'll bring bread. After we got home everything went smoother. I think I'm going to make it my goal to get out every day. Preferably outside, but an indoor activity (like a trip to a friend's house) will have to do on cold days (I'm sure there will be more of them- this is utah after all). It'll be good for all of us.
I know I can do this. I can balance 3 kids, a husband, and manage our home. It's just going to take some organization/planning of our time, resting when I can, flexibility, finding a new routine and some serious positive thinking (and maybe some occasional help).
To kick off my renewed efforts to think more positively I'd like to list a few things I'm grateful for...
- Warm weather! I'm so grateful that the kids can finally play outside again.
- A husband who lets me sleep in, works so hard at school and providing for us, and is always supportive of me- what ever my wants and needs may be.
- That my kids love Owen. I know one day he'll love them back & I can't wait.
- For supportive friends who have babysat and brought meals. Thank you!
- Ice cream. No explanation needed.
- That nursing is going better & that my friend convinced me to stick with it when I was ready to quit.
- That we're all healthy (knock on wood)!
- For my homemade moby wrap baby carrier. It's the most comfortable way I've ever worn a baby and Owen always stays asleep in it. I highly recommend it! (one day I'll post a picture of mine) They're very easy to make too.
- Prayer. I couldn't do this with out the help of my Heavenly Father. I know he hears my pleas of help and is giving me the strength to get through each day.
- A nice camera. I love to take pictures, although I haven't taken many lately. I'd like to try to take at least one picture a day- if not more- from now on. I need to get back in the habit of photographing life.
"Whatever the mind of man can conceive, it can achieve" -W. Clement Stone
sanity saver
Do you think I have enough? haha!
(they were a $1.99 but you had to buy 8 to get the discount.
I figured why not stock up if it's a good deal? Ice cream is expensive these days!)
At the end of the day I need some ice cream therapy. :)
Just another tuesday
Emma's really into dressing herself.
Sometimes I don't care enough to make her change.
Please notice the inside out (tag sticking out) brown diaper cover over the stretchy pants stuffed into her pink snow boots complimented by her pajama shirt with a pink lamb on it.
At least she's coordinating right?
Aiden's "home work".
"fixing the car"
Sunny days
3/21/10
This is baby Owen at 3 weeks old.
This week he'll actually be a month old!
Time was going so slow at first, but is finally picking up. I think that's because nursing is going a lot better...finally. I'm finally healing and getting it right.
We're both happier for it.
Now if we could just get more sleep!
Today was my first sunday back at church and it felt great to be there. I'd missed it.
I got the kids new sunday clothes and since they looked especially cute today, and I actually did my hair and make up, I figured we better get a picture!
Spring is here!
Today the weather was warm and beautiful, but we're in Utah, which means we could get snow tomorrow. Utah spring weather is so back and forth.
Here's hoping we see many more warm days than cold ones.
Owen's Birth Story
3/18/10
February 24th- 7:30 pm my water broke.
I was watching american idol.
The kids were still up.
I ran to the bathroom just in time- before the big gush.
I called Kart who was still at work, called my in-laws to come get my kids,
called my midwife, and my parents.
Midwife said to call her when the contractions were 3 mins apart.
Called her back 15 mins later.
Kart came home.
I had him pack up the kids' things and get them ready.
My mother in-law and sister in-law showed up to get the kids.
They kept them for the next 3 days.
That was a biiig help!
After the kids left I had Kart clean the house.
I needed it to be clean so I didn't feel distracted by messes.
One of the Midwife's 2 assistants showed up and set up my bed with painters plastic, old bed sheets and Chux pads. Then she checked me and the baby.
Midwife showed up by around 8:30.
She checked me and the baby too.
2nd assistant showed up.
(her assistants are midwives in training)
2nd assistant did some relaxation techniques on me.
For the first half of labor I felt good.
I ate. I walked. I breathed through contractions without much pain.
Contractions started as soon as my water broke and progressed slowly.
I remember thinking if my contractions stayed like this, that labor wouldn't be bad at all.
They didn't stay like that.
They got harder.
Kart was great at getting me to stay relaxed.
He stroked my back (light touch massage felt really good), pushed on my knees, and on my lower back/tailbone area.
Eventually it wasn't enough though.
They got the tub ready.
It had what looked like a big tea bag of herbs floating in it.
It made the water yellow.
I felt like I was in a giant cup of tea.
It smelled good and felt great...at first.
The warm water felt good, but it didn't do enough to help ease the pain of the contractions.
Kart tried pushing on my knees while I was in the tub, but that was awkward.
The tub was too small for him to get in too, and for me to find a position that felt comfortable.
I suddenly felt like the baby was really low. I could feel him moving around and it didn't feel good.
I felt like pushing.
They had me get out to push, but when they checked my dialation I actually wasn't progressed far enough yet to push.
So we waited.
But with every contraction when I'd breathe out I'd feel that urge to push again. I had to change my breathing to fight the urge. That feeling is hard to explain if you've never felt it before.
It's guttural. Uncontrollable. Your body almost makes you start pushing.
Blowing out my air like you blow out a candle helped me not feel that urge.
Finally she felt like I'd progressed enough and had me push.
I pushed. And pushed.
It wasn't doing much.
What was wrong with me?
I'd done this before- and very successfully!
Pushing with emma was much easier for some reason.
This time I felt like my effort wasn't doing much to move the baby.
Though out the night they kept asking me if I wanted juice.
No.
Kart asked if I wanted music.
No.
I didn't mean it. I was just so completely focused on getting through the end of labor that I
couldn't think about anything else. I just wanted to stop feeling the pain.
This is where things weren't going like I'd hoped they would.
I think I was too focused on the pain I was feeling.
I could no longer relax like I wanted.
I was breathing through the contractions, but it wasn't enough.
I wanted it to be over...NOW!
It was the middle of the night by this time.
I was done.
We started pushing on the birthing stool,
(it's a u-shaped seat with legs that's not very tall)
but my leg kept cramping up really bad.
Not okay.
We decided to try a different position.
In between changing positions my midwife checked the baby's heart rate and felt like it was distressed, so they put me on oxygen and that helped bring it's heart rate back to normal.
With the midwife's assistants sitting in chairs facing each other and me in between them, I put one knee on each of their laps while kart held me up from behind under my arms.
(this is all going on in our kitchen with plastic covering the floor)
This position worked.
Finally my pushes were productive and after what felt like forever, but I'm sure was only about 20 minutes, he was in my arms!
With Kart sitting behind me and his arms wrapped around me, we sat there on the kitchen floor holding our new baby together and soaking in the moment.
I felt so much joy and relief!
I'd done it....again!
And I couldn't have done it with out my amazing husband;
both his physical and emotional support.
Suddenly I realized I didn't know if it was a boy or girl yet.
I checked and was happy to see I was right...it's a boy!
This was, by FAR, my hardest delivery yet.
Surprise! I thought this would be my easiest.
The beginning was easy, but the last half was so challenging compared to my other births.
It just goes to show, every baby, and birth, is so different.
It wasn't a super long delivery though- for me at least.
It was about 6 hours long.
That's my shortest so far.
So am I glad I did it at home?
Yes.
It may have been hard, but it was still wonderful to be in control.
I loved being in the comfort of my own home.
After getting cleaned up we all got cozy on my bed to check Owens stats.
One of the assistants made me a grilled ham and cheese sandwich while the other weighed and measured Owen and checked him for all sorts of things.
Then cozy in bed with Kart, I nursed him while the midwife and her assistants packed up their things to go home.
I don't think we got a lot of sleep that night, but I got to make up for it all the next day. Because our other two kids were at grandmas we both got to sleep when ever owen slept.
We're enjoying having Owen in our family.
I'm grateful there were no complications and that we were able to do it at home.
I'm still here.
3/9/10
I'm still here. Sorry I haven't been blogging.
I've been a little preoccupied with cuddling this little guy.
I can't seem to put him down, but can you blame me?
He's pretty adorable!
I do still plan to write about my birthing experience.
I know you're all curious how it went.
For now I'll just say it was a positive experience, but it was. not. easy.
We've been doing a lot of nursing and sleeping.
Nursing has been a challenge to say the least.
Mastitis, trouble getting him to latch right (and the painful results from poor latching) and several lactation appointments later and it's still not going perfectly, but I'm sticking it out.
I keep trying because I know it will get easier.
For now though, the days pass slowly waiting for it to get better.
Luckily I have a cute little boy to cuddle and enjoy while we work together on it.
My other 2 kids have been great with Owen. They love him!
Emma is always coming up and rubbing his head and saying sweet things to him.
If he's crying she says "It's okay baby Owen, it's okay."
Aiden likes to hold him and rub his head too.
He just smiles broadly when he holds him.
You can tell he's proud to be a big brother.
My mom was here the first week to take care of us and I seriously don't know what I would've done with out her! She cooked and cleaned, and took care of my other 2 kids which helped me be able to get all the extra sleep I needed. Priceless!
I was so happy she was able to make it so soon.
Life has been different lately, but even with all it's challenges it's been good.
I think once I get the nursing thing down we'll be able to figure out a new routine and life will feel a little bit more "normal". I'm looking forward to that & I'm sure my other kids are too.
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